Legal Humor

Civil & Criminal Trial Lawyers

• You're trapped in a room with a tiger, a rattlesnake and a lawyer. You have a gun with two bullets. What should you do?
  You shoot the lawyer. Twice.
   

• What’s the difference between a lawyer and an onion?
  You cry when you cut up an onion.
   

• Why is it that New Jersey got all the toxic waste dumps and California got all the lawyers?
  New Jersey had first choice.
   

• A restaurant full of lawyers was held hostage.
  The bad guys threatened that, until all their demands were met, they would release one lawyer every hour.

• What’s the difference between a shame and a pity?
  If a busload of lawyers goes over a cliff, and there are no survivors, that’s known as a pity. If there were any empty seats, that’s a shame.

The Penguin Slap

Dumb Questions