• It seems that a devout, good couple was about to get married, but a tragic car accident ended their lives.

When they got to heaven, they asked St. Peter if he could arrange for them to be married, saying that it was what they had hoped for in life, and they still desired wedded union. He thought about it and agreed, but said they would have to wait.

It was almost one hundred years later when St. Peter sent for them. They were married in a simple ceremony.

So things went on, for thirty years or so, but they determined, in this time, that eternity was best not spent together.

They went back to St. Peter, and said, "We thought we would be happy forever, but now we believe that we have irreconcilable differences. Is there any way we can get divorced?"

"Are you kidding?" said St. Peter. "It took me a hundred years to get a priest up here to marry you. I'll never get a lawyer!"

 

By Some Miracle

 

• By some miracle we still don't understand, a lawyer found himself in the very long serving line of a cafeteria in Heaven. As the newest arrival, he was at the end of the line.
  
  From out of nowhere, a man dressed in a very expensive suit and equally expensive shoes grabbed a tray and proceeded to barge into the head of the line.
  
  
  This naturally irritated the new arrival and, unable to let it go unnoticed, blurted out, "Where does that lawyer get off playing God?"
  
  
  "Hush," said the woman ahead of him, "that's God pretending to be a lawyer."

You can’t take it with you
 

• A stingy old lawyer who had been diagnosed with a terminal illness was determined to prove wrong the saying, “You can’t take it with you.”
  After much thought and consideration, the old ambulance-chaser finally figured out how to take at least some of his money with him when he died. He instructed his wife to go to the bank and withdraw enough money to fill two pillow cases. He then directed her to take the bags of money to the attic and leave them directly above his bed. His plan: When he passed away, he would reach out and grab the bags on his way to heaven.
  
  Several weeks after the funeral, the deceased lawyer’s wife, up in the attic cleaning, came upon the two forgotten pillow cases stuffed with cash.
  
  “Oh, that darned old fool,” she exclaimed. “I knew he should have had me put the money in the basement.”
   

Lawyer Short Jokes